Conscious leadership advantage of being yourself for business owners

When I started my own business, I hadn’t anticipated the extent to which my mindset and habits could either help or hinder me. My experience led to a more positive, resilient change in my overall mindset.

Today, I’m sharing some of my key learnings and reflections about how my mindset has changed over the years, from being an autopilot to conscious leadership. I’d love to hear which of these resonates most with you, whether you’re a business owner, franchisee, or employee.  

From incongruent to congruent: authenticity makes for better business

I started my career as a teacher. At work, we frequently referred to wearing our ‘teacher hat’ or ‘teacher mask’. Basically, this translated to showing up in a certain way when working with student and interacting with parents. At times, this teacher role felt very incongruent for me.

Incongruence: a lack of alignment between the real self and the ideal self.

It took me a long time to realise that in business, congruency made a huge positive difference.

Congruence: act in accordance with my true feelings rather than with a stylised image of a teacher/facilitator/speaker

The more congruent I am, the more authentic I am, the more successful my business.  What’s more, those client relationships are deeper and more aligned in terms of value and purpose. This leads to more fulfilling workshop and speaking engagements.

From a mindset of perceived finality to continual refinement

When I started my business, I naïvely thought, “I’ll get my website running and never need to touch it again.”

Now, I laugh at that thought. A website is just one part of a business that’s always a work in progress. Many aspects of running a business involve continual improvement. Sometimes that improvement is an iterative cycle with small, ongoing improvements, each one building upon the last. Sometimes, that improvement is a significant shift, like my recent Conscious Leadership Advantage rebranding. Conscious leaders find fun in the process of active learning and progress. Staying still might feel safe, but in my experience, it often equates to being stuck. And when you’re stuck, you risk becoming stale.

From perfectionism to ongoing work in progress

Perfectionism was my biggest hindrance in business. Growing up, and through university, I was a perfectionist. That trait was constantly rewardedand reinforced.

Until it wasn’t.

Until I started my own business and perfectionism became my biggest stumbling block.

Perfectionism equated to keeping me safe, but staying safe kept me small. I feared failure so much that even the thought made me feel panicked and sick. Even worse,, I defined failure as anything less than 100% success. These impossibly high, self-imposed standards prevented me from taking risks, learning, and putting myself out there.

Through conscious leadership, I’ve brought those thought processes and habits into my conscious awareness. Coaching helped me tremendously. I remember one pivotal moment during a coaching session with the amazing Maureen Owen was realising I was so scared of failing, but not trying meant I failed before even starting. This mindset shift has helped me gradually shift away from perfectionism and toward being a work in progress and being comfortbale with being a work in progress.  

From self-criticism to self-compassion

Being kind to yourself will pay dividends. A nice little side effect of perfectionism for many people is self-criticism in the face of challenge. It took me a lot of practise to replace this with self-compassion. Seeing challenges through the lens of self-compassion rather than self-criticism makes a world of difference to my calmness and my self-worth. When we are calmer, we communicate, think and act from our values. Values drive us, so become more intentional, and responsive, resulting in better outcomes for performance, productivity and relationships.

From avoiding and dreading feedback to actively seeking feedback

Did you know research shows giving and receiving feedback triggers fight or flight mode and increases stress? As a result, those conversations can be unhelpful, or even harmful.

I felt so anxious about feedback, even when it was positive. Constructive feedback felt negative to me, and I either dismissed it, or fixated on the one negative comment among the positives.

Now, I am curious about feedback and actively ask for feedback. The research I mentioned shows when we ask for specific feedback, we stay calm so are more receptive.

This results in me being much more open to adjusting what I offer and improving how I deliver keynotes and workshops so my customers and audience find them even more valuable.

Not all feedback is valuable, of course. Sometimes (or often!) people have their own reasons or agenda for giving unhelpful feedback. It can be more about that person than you. In those cases, it’s worth remembering that you don’t have to take on every bit of feedback.

BUT if you are taking feedback from someone who has positive intent, who is sharing feedback with the aim of helping you and making you better, that’s the feedback which is worthwhile and helpful.

From pessimism to optimism

Martin Seligman’s research highlights the benefits of an optimistic mindset. He found that optimistic insurance salespeople outperformed their pessimistic counterparts despite receiving more rejections. The key to the optimists’ success was their optimistic response to adversity. This optimistic mindset meant they continued to approach prospective customers people.

Conscious leaders explain the causes of adversity in an optimistic way: as temporary, isolated to that one area, and due to external causes, rather than their fault. Running a business involves setbacks. By using an optimistic explanation of those setbacks, conscious leaders navigate those setbacks better and continue to take constructive action.

From comfort zone to tolerating discomfort in the stretch zone

Running a business inevitably involves learning. And learning is inherently uncomfortable. Mistakes are an inevitable part of learning and growth, especially when trying something new, and mistakes causes discomfort too.

We don't like feeling uncomfortable. Discomfort is tough to tolerate.

 Conscious leaders understand that learning is part of reaching a bigger goal. They act despite discomfort, recognising it will resolve as skills improve.

 When I feel demotivated by challenges, I remind myself of my past progress. Reflecting on how far I’ve come helps motivate me to keep refining my approach and that working through the discomfort will be worthwhile.

Conscious leadership has completely changed the way I approach my business. Becoming more aware of my mindset and habits helped me tackle challenges head-on, build stronger and more aligned relationships, and find and act on new opportunities for growth. Shifting from autopilot to a more intentional way of thinking has made my business more successful as well as making the whole experience far more rewarding and sustainable.

If these ideas resonate with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.